THE OBITUARY OF HALFORD JONES #2

While working on some unusual alchemical experiments in his home laboratory(which various authorities had endeavored to shut down over the years), HALFORD E. JONES died in a massive explosion that released hight toxic clouds and fumes of mercury and lead and left only 'a few flecks of gold' on the spot where he had been standing before his obiteration..... 'I'M TAKING MY SECRETS TO THE GRAVE' he had often told his many colleagues who had shared some of his alchemical theories over the years, which started with a friend's work on Silver Nitrate extraction 'by the light of the moon' and its phases, using old developing fluids and solutions gathered from local photographers before the onset of the Digital Age which has destroyed this practice entirely....and left tradtional photographers who still use glass plates without employment or enjoyment...

MY OBITUARIES

Over the years I have read many obituaries in various newspapers and some magazines from time to time. Some of them have been localized while others have been both international and national, and often of famous persons but more than not, others of virtual unimportance except possibly to their friends, relatives, family, and undertakers who 'serviced' them........ Although reading of obituaries may seem morbid to the ordinary mind, this task serves to remind one of one's own mortality and also assist in remembering that at any given moment, in or out of time, real or imagined, one can die and can die in most any place under most any circumstances, that range from being in bed, to crossing a busy street, or being mowed down by various assorted gun-brandishing types as well as by natural disasters, accidents,etc. But in the search for self-development and/or improvement, it pays to see what others spent their time doing,especially in the various descriptions of their occupations, educations(or lack of), and hobbies and pastimes, which they frittered away the more precious moments of their life and wasted their energies on, in the aimless pursuit of pleasure possibly or in fruitless, unproductive endeavors....with all the attendent consequences.... However, most 'OBITS' are presented in a format that fits editorial requirements and standards, unless promptly paid for by others who desire a more substantial, if unverifiable, coverage of the deceased, who may or may not linger in their memories for very long, even after receiving any insurance payments, legacies or inheritances and having spent them in similar pursuits of pleasure, education, travel, or whatever...after, of course, taxes, bills and fees etc. have been duly paid. Most obituaries never mention that the deceased was a 'sob',farted,swore,belched, smoked and drank to excess, beat his or her spouse and children in various fits of rage and with various implements that might be reminiscent of Medieval Times, or ran around with numerous others, maybe even obtaining 'sufficient' std's and the like.....and that they served years in prison unless they were notoriously famous, and so on..... They also fail to mention that the person may have suffered all their lives from bad breath, B O, necrophilia, monomania, or any of the mnumerous phobias that beset modern man, let alone all the complexes and neuroses and other psychological/psychiatric ailments or their drug addictions and fondness for certain weeds...